Monday, January 18, 2010

Crazy incoherent rant

Writing is good for the soul. It allows me to process my thoughts, express my emotions, and get things off my chest.
I’m pretty open about my life and try not to hold back from writing about things that might expose my mistakes and shortcomings. I also try to be careful not to write anything on this blog that might paint others in a negative way.
But a few things have happened lately that have gotten under my skin. People I care about have been caught in a shit-storm of not talking to one another and I’m struggling to understand.
So, in consideration for the privacy of others, here’s my ‘general’ rant for the day (or maybe the year). This will make absolutely no sense to 99% of you; just indulge me, OK?

I am not perfect. I can’t read people’s minds and can’t do anything about something if I only find out about it after the fact. Let me know while I can still do something about it because I haven't yet developed the ability to change history.
I sometimes lose my temper. Losing my temper is something that has come to me rather late in life and I haven’t yet perfected using it in a productive way. I’m willing to say I’m sorry and take my portion of the blame. Please be willing to hear me out, especially if you yourself have been known to lose your own temper in the past.

Not talking to the person you are mad at doesn’t resolve anything. Things just fester to the point where you don’t even know what you are mad about anymore, you just know that you are not talking to that ‘b$#+h’.
‘Poor me’ isn’t a healthy place to stay for long. Playing the role of victim will only attract people that will help to keep you there, not move forward. As a friend of mine says "suck it up buttercup" and fix what's worth fixing.

Consider the possibility that not everything is about you. Instead of inventing reasons in your head why the person did what they did, why not just ask them? Maybe your insecurities and paranoia are f--king with your head again - it may not have anything to do with you.
I am willing to talk things out after a disagreement, but I don’t have the time or energy to chase anyone and plead with them to ‘play nice’ and ‘make up’. If a hand is extended once, it may not be again. That makes it your move.

Whew! That felt good. Even if half of my family isn’t talking to me now.
Oh, that’s right, they weren’t before I wrote this...
What I’m grateful for today: That my mom arrived home safe after her 7 hour drive today. And that she’s still speaking to me. :-)

2 comments:

Sheri said...

Late is better than never....I am still talking to you :0) and I have read your blog, "Crazy incoherent rant". BTW, not so crazy, totally sensible rant!! You go girl! -Sheri

Anonymous said...

Tks KIDDO ..... for doing my rant for me! Speaking with you earlier on about this 'topic' gave me further food for thought and you expressed my feelings on so many levels that I just couldn't seem to get my mind around nor the correct words to express the feelings so deep inside. You do me GOOD!....as ALWAYS!