"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."
Garrison Kielor.
When I was a teenager I used to hear songs on the radio and think “I’d like that played at my wedding”. As I get older, I’m more likely to think “I’d like that played at my funeral”.
Let’s face it, whether you have cancer or not, you’ve probably thought about your own funeral. How many people will come? Who would you want to speak? Will that so-and-so ex-boss show up and feel really guilty?
I came across an interesting site called “My Wonderful Life: Plan your funeral, your way”. You create a book with your final wishes, a survivor checklist and even letters to loved ones. You assign “angels” who will be responsible for carrying out your wishes. Being someone who likes to organize things (and have the last word!), the idea appeals to me.
While it’s not something most people like to talk or think about, there is something satisfying about knowing that it’s taken care of when the time eventually comes.
In the meantime, I’m getting on with the business of living.
What I'm grateful for today: For the things that I have control of. I'm working on letting go of the rest.
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3 comments:
I don't agree with calling the discussion morbid. Even your quote from Garrison Kielor is funny.
I have had many conversations about funerals with dying friends (and let's face it, who on the planet is NOT dying?) about what we want.
One discussion was with a friend with ovarian cancer. We laughed like nuts over huge size coffins, what music we'd play, if anyone would show up for us? And the waste of money over funerals.
I think this is part of the problem with dying and funerals etc. That we have absolutely no idea what happens post our death. If we labeled death anything else, (for instance - ride to Funville) we'd probably not be so fearful of it. Planning ahead of time takes away some of the fear. Talking about it helps with fear. Knowing that people will care enough to show up, to be with you, to help you on your way, takes away some of the fear.
I once heard a rabbi say we have no idea where we were before we came to life. How can we be so certain where we are going post this life?
Another One Bites the Dust
Anyone Can Dig a Hole but It Takes A Real Man to Call it Home.
When Will I See You Again?
And more songs
The link is a great reference for song selections. My songs would be "Life is Eternal" by Carly Simon and "You've Got a Friend" by James Taylor.
Although... "Another One Bites the Dust" is a good choice too. :-)
I think I'd want to mix sad with funny. My husband who died of colon cancer in 2001 (age 50) wanted "Always Look on The Bright Side of Life." But what was funny sort of was he didn't do what the song suggested very often.
And my word verification word is DERTH -- I am just one letter away. OMG!
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