Yet I can honestly say that I’m doing well emotionally. I’ve had times in my life when I was a bit of a mess (breakups, work stress, bad hair cuts). But I find myself at a place in my 50s where I’m more at peace with myself than I’ve ever been before. (Why did it take 50 years? Youth is wasted on the young!)
That’s not to say that I don’t have ‘down days’. Or that I don’t wake up in the middle of the night sometimes and let my thoughts get away on me. Or that I don't get bloody tired of all of this cancer crap.
But despite the cancer, I can honestly say that I am enjoying my life. I just came from my yoga class with other breast cancer ‘thrivers’ and the teacher had us doing a smiling meditation. A few people had been away, so we went for coffee afterwards and got caught up. As always, we laughed – a lot. It's the simple things, like being with good friends, or being able to breathe out the toxic thoughts in a yoga class, that make me feel content.
I know I’ve said this in previous posts, but it's worth repeating: life is good! Maybe that should be my mantra. A friend sent me a message today saying that she keeps saying ‘let it go’. During my next mediation, I’m going to think Life Is Good on the in-breath and Let It Go on the out-breath.