A courier delivered LTD forms to me today. My sick leave runs out in early April, so I have to apply for Long Term Disability. Last September, I went from a full-time job that I enjoyed, to putting the focus totally on my health when I started my treatments. Work just hasn’t been on my radar.
So I was a bit surprised at my reaction when I started to fill out the forms. The truth is that I love my job in HR at Carleton University and the people there are great. I know going on LTD doesn’t have to be permanent, but changing my status as an employee feels like an official change in my life.
My oncologist’s plan is to keep changing my treatment so the cancer doesn’t get too used to any one drug. He said the best way to manage it is to keep surprising it, because the cancer starts to find ways to outsmart the drugs after a period of time.
That leaves me not knowing what’s ahead. It depends on how I respond to each drug and how long it is effective. It’s a bit hard to plan your life with such looming uncertainty. I try not to think too far ahead, so I guess work is just one more thing that I will have to figure out as I go.