Hair Today... Gone Today

I knew when I washed my hair this morning it was going to be the last time I’d be needing shampoo for awhile. My hair was coming out by the handful and I had to face the fact that I needed to do something about it by the end of the day or it would all be on my pillow the next morning.

Mary Lou and I went for a walk in the Arboretum in the afternoon. We went back to her place afterwards and it just happens that she has a set of hair clippers, so she went to work. (OK, they are dog-grooming clippers, but at this stage it didn’t much matter). The deed wasn’t as painful as I expected and I’m now sporting a rather butchy-looking buzz cut.
Gee, I sure hope the wig I ordered comes in soon…

Art Tour

Peg and I took advantage of the beautiful weather this weekend and did the Chelsea/Wakefield Artist’s tour. I was not only amazed at the variety of art (everything from glass etchings to rustic furniture), but also at the wonderful studios the artists have to work in and display their art. (So much for the starving artist theory).
We took Peg’s daughter’s dog, Georgia, for a nice walk in Chelsea and had lunch by the river in Wakefield. You can’t beat a beautiful fall day in the Gatineaus!

Tips for Family & Friends

My mom left on Friday. Reluctantly. She was a huge help to me and I was extremely grateful to have her here when I had my first treatment. But after 2 weeks, she had to admit that I’m doing fine and don’t need a nurse. It was time for her to go back to her life and for me to go back to mine. Or at least my version of the new ‘normal’.

Having my mom here reminded me of how hard it is to be a family member of someone who has cancer. One person doesn’t have the cancer; the whole family has it. It affects all of the people who care about the person who is actually having the treatment.

How can family and friends know what to do to help? We are all learning that together as we go. I came up with some thoughts on how my family and friends can help me that I hope will be helpful. It’s probably different for every person, but these are the things that come to mind:

• Don't treat me like a sick person. I know I have cancer. I know I am having chemo. But I don’t want my life to be about cancer and being sick. Some days I feel sick, but not every day. Some days I feel pretty damn good.
• Leave me alone when I’m cranky. On low energy days I feel like lying on the sofa in front of the TV. I don’t want to have to pretend to be ‘up’ and just want to wallow in it for awhile. Don’t worry, I’ll snap out of it when my energy comes back in a day or two.
• Support my decisions. I’ve spent a lot of time looking into and thinking about my options. There is no absolute right answer for anyone in this situation. Each person has to make choices that they feel good about and they feel will work best for them. I know I can be pig-headed, but I’m comfortable with the choices I’m making.
• It's OK to talk about your sadness and fears. You won’t remind me that I have cancer. Believe me, I haven’t forgotten. I’m pretty open about what I’m going through and don’t have a problem going there with you if you want to. Just as long as we don't get stuck there.
• Come out and play. I want to spend nice days outside in the sunshine and nature. Let's go for a walk, paddle a kayak, sit by the water or check out the fall leaves.
• Laugh! You can’t deny your emotions when you feel sad, but there are also times when finding humor in a tough situation can ease the stress. Laughter is not only the best medicine, it's the best way I know of giving cancer the finger!!! If I can still laugh, I know I'm OK.

Here's a site with some great general advice on how to help someone who has cancer: http://www.circusofcancer.org/HTH-toc.html.

Run for the Cure

On October 5th I will be participating in the Run for the Cure for the 12th time. I usually run it but, given that I will be having my 2nd chemo treatment 5 days prior, I am planning to walk it this year.

If you would like to sponsor me in this event, go to SPONSOR. I won’t be setting any speed records, but I plan to cross the finish line upright and smiling!

If you are a breast cancer survior/thriver, you can join the JUST DOING IT team. There are both runners and walkers on the team.

Also participating this year is a team called Chris' Jocks from Carleton University. If you would like to join or sponsor this team, contact andrea_barton@carleton.ca or melanie_dow@carleton.ca.

Kayak-therapy

My Mom & I drove to Anka’s & Fred’s cottage-trailer yesterday. Anka suggested we go for a short paddle in the kayaks and I jumped at the chance.

We didn’t go fast and we didn’t go far, but the feeling of using my own power to glide through the water made me feel alive and strong. (OK, the strong part is relative, but certainly a whole lot better than the day before). The feeling of warm sun on my face, the reflection of the white clouds and blue sky on the water, the sound of the dip of the paddles, all made me feel alive and renewed. I leaned back in the kayak and imagined the sun healing my body and the fresh air breathing new life into my damaged cells.

Never mind that I have to rest lots and that the inside of my mouth feels like raw hamburger. Every day I feel just a little bit better and a little bit more like me again.

Adventures in Chemotherapy

I made it through the first few days after my treatment without much nausea or other side effects. I should have known it was going too well…

Yesterday I developed severe abdominal pains and finally called my homecare nurse. She said I should go to the emergency to rule out a blood clot and that they would take me right away once I said I was a chemo patient.

Five hours later… I finally had blood tests and an x-ray. The tests showed elevated counts for my pancreas, which is exactly where the pains were. They gave me morphine (a mighty fine drug!) and sent me home feeling more than a little loopy.

I seem fine this morning and hoping to put that incident (and the painful hours in the emerg) behind me.

Chemo - Round 1

It’s the morning after my first chemo treatment and I’m doing relatively well. Other than feeling like I’ve had the energy drained from my body, I'm a lot better than I expected at this point.

I’m looking forward to visitors but ask that people stay away if they have colds or flu. The chemo compromises the immune system and I’m at risk for infection, especially after my first treatment.

Thanks to everyone for your calls. Please forgive me if I screen my calls when I'm tired or don't return your calls right away. I do appreciate all of your best wishes and support. xo