Christine Lynds, 1957-2010: We will miss you, mom

Dear readers of my mom’s blog,

This is Christine’s son Adam writing this. This is extremely difficult for me to write, but I wanted to post one final message to let her readers know that she passed away early Friday morning. She went peacefully in her sleep at 12:25 a.m.

My grandmother took her to the hospital on Wednesday after having difficulty breathing. It turned out to be a blood clot that went to her lung and the doctors were not able to do anything for her. The nurses in palliative care at the Ottawa General – along with my grandmother – did a great job of making her as comfortable as possible to minimize any pain and help her go with dignity. She didn’t want to be kept alive on machines and have her family and friends see her sick. She also didn’t want to be in pain and have the final stage drag on. She had a very good quality of life up until her final two days (I visited her just a few weeks ago and we spent a week at a cottage on a lake in Quebec together).

I was in Lebanon when I got the call that mom was in the hospital and her condition was deteriorating quickly. The doctors said at that point that she didn't have much time left and probably wouldn't make it through the night, so I spoke to her on the phone and said what I thought was my final goodbye. I booked a flight out of Beirut right away in an effort to get back to Ottawa as quickly as I could. I didn’t think that there would be any chance that I would get to see her alive again, but when I landed I found out that she was still holding on. So I rushed to the hospital and got to see her one last time. I was able to give her a hug, sit with her, play her some of her favourite music and say goodbye in person while she was still alert and could respond to me. For that, I will always be thankful. The strongest person I have ever known, my mom amazed me one final time by hanging on until I arrived. About five hours after I got to the hospital, she went into a deep sleep and never woke up again.

My mom was such an incredible person and mother to me – I attribute so much of who I am to her and am so grateful for everything she did for me. I miss her immensely already and there will be a massive void in my life without her around. Someday if/when I have my own children, I hope that I can be even half the parent that she was to me.

She was also a great friend to a lot of people (she had such a wonderful group of friends and I know they will really miss her, too). Although my mom has passed on, she will live on in the many people she had a positive impact on and all of us who were lucky enough to have known her and care about her. 

Below is my mom’s obituary, which appeared in the Ottawa Citizen today. She wrote it herself.

You are welcome to post any thoughts/comments/questions below. Or if you would rather contact me directly, you can e-mail me at chiassonadam@gmail.com.

Adam

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Christine (Chris) Mary Lynds of Ottawa died September 10, 2010 at the end of a full and adventurous life. She was born in Halifax, Nova Scotia, the eldest daughter of Janice Rivest (Rowe) and the late Merlyn Lynds. Christine worked in the field of Human Resources for over 20 years, most recently at Carleton University. A lifetime of passion for travel led her to far off places, such as Europe, India, Nepal, Australia, Vietnam, China, Tanzania and South Africa. She was a past member of the Busting Out breast cancer dragon boat team and enjoyed a variety of activities, including hiking, snow shoeing and cycling. Above all, she was most proud of being a mother to Adam Chiasson, currently living in the Netherlands. She is also survived by her mother Janice Rivest (nee Rowe) of Stevensville, sister Nadine Allen of Fort McMurray, brother Darrell Lynds of Cold Lake, Katey the Wonder Dog and a wonderful community of friends. A memorial service will be held at 2:00 p.m. on September 14 at the First Unitarian Congregation of Ottawa (30 Cleary Avenue). Donations to Breast Cancer Action Ottawa (http://www.bcaott.ca/) in Christine’s name would be appreciated in lieu of flowers.

The cancer clinic - my 2nd home

I have 5 appointments next week; 3 of them on the same day:

1. orthopedic surgeon (re my broken hand)
2. radiation oncologist (re my brain lesions)
3. plurex specialist (re the fluid on my lung)
4. medical oncologist (re changing my chemo)
5. cancer clinic social worker (re trying to make sense of all this).

Yikes!

What I’m grateful for today: Vanilla milkshakes. My appetite isn’t great but I crave milkshakes. My mom is gone to the store right now to get vanilla ice cream to keep me in supply.

Run for the Cure - Oct 3

I decided that I would focus my fundraising efforts to the BCA run this year. I only like to ask for support for one event a year, but it you missed donating to the BCA run and would like to donate to the Run for the Cure instead, you can do so on my personal fundraising page at http://www.runforthecure.com/site/TR?px=1004992&pg=personal&fr_id=1101.

This will be the 10th year that the JUST DOING IT team of survivors has participated in the Run for the Cure.

Crappy update

i ended up in the cancer triage yesterday because of increased shortness of breath and a distended belly. they thought that maybe i had fluid buildup in the belly because of my liver but they didn't find fluid there. they did find fluid in one of my lungs so they are making an appointment for me to possibly have the fluid drained.

the doctor i saw gave me the results of the latest scans and it appears that the current treatment isn't working and the cancer is progressing in my lungs, lower spine and liver. also they found two lesions on the brain that appear to be cancer.

i suspect i will now go back on taxotere, the iv chemo i had last time. i had really good results last time so i'm hoping it will do the same this time.

no news from the ortho specialist. i might just say to hell with it and just live with a baby finger that won't bend.

what i'm grateful for today: that my mom is here to help me and she doesn't complain about all of the hours spent at the hospital having tests and waiting, waiting, waiting.

Breast Fest - apply by Oct 1

Breast Fest Film Festival - Travel Subsidies Available! Inquire and apply by OCT. 1 2010

Rethink Breast Cancer
215 Spadina Ave. Studio 570 Toronto, ON M5T 2C7
T.416-920-0980 ext.228 or 1-866-738-4465
F.416.920.5798
Website: www.rethinkbreastcancer.com

my favorite bday card

Thanks to all you folks that called, emailed and facebooked me today. I'm having a great birthday; lunch with my mom and aunt and dinner with friends.

This email card from Adam made me laugh!

Cancer Self Management Program - Sept 1

This free six week program will help you: Manage symptoms and treatment side-effects, Learn strategies to manage medications, Work with your healthcare team, Set goals and solve problems, Handle difficult emotions, Feel better and enjoy more activities, Make changes to diet and exercise
Start Date: Wed Sep 1, 2010

Date Notes: Free six week program
Time: 7pm
Cost: Free

Venue: Canadian Cancer Society
Address: 1745 Woodward Dr.
Postal Code: K2C 0P9

Contact Email: ottawa@ontario.cancer.ca
Phone: 613-7231744
Website: www.ontario.cancer.ca/

Shred-if For A Cure

Shred-it - Founded in 1988 by Greg Brophy, Shred-it is a Canadian company, committed to helping organizations secure their business information by shredding documents and various media.

Shred-it For A Cure - Each year the Ottawa Shred-it branch donates all funds raised from Shred-it For A Cure events to the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation. On the second Saturday of each month between 9:00AM and 1:00PM, the public can bring up to 5 cubic feet of material (1 cubic foot is about the size of a photocopy paper box) to the Shred-it facility and it will be securely shredded for free while you wait. You are encouraged at that time to make a donation (any amount is appreciated) and tax receipts are available.

Not only will you be securing your unwanted personal information and protecting your identity, you will be helping a very important cause.

The location and dates are:

SECURIT/SHRED-IT – 1171 Kenaston Street Ottawa ON K1B-3N9 (613) 270-9457 (613) 270-9457

2010 Shred Dates

September 11, October 9, November 13, December 11

Yaron Givati

Inside Sales Representative

Shred-it – Ottawa

T: 613.270.9457 613.270.9457 EXT 70394

F: 613.270.8895

E: yaron.givati@shredit.com
Making sure it’s secure

Tips on how to forget your health worries – My “New Normal” is all about ‘fun’, by Amy Lessack

I found an entry by Amy Lessack on the LBBC (Living beyond Breast Cancer) website that I thought was worth sharing. Amy was diagnosed with metastatic bc at 43 in 2008.

"Well, what I learned when I was first diagnosed in 2002 when I was 36 is that every day is a gift. Now, I am sure that sounds very trite and I don’t mean it to be. Believe me, there are still many days that don’t always feel like a gift. However, to have the day, even if it is a crappy one, is still one more day alive. For me, that’s a good day."

Read the full article

What I'm grateful for today: That I'm going to see the EAT PRAY LOVE movie this afternoon. And we'll probably want to go out for Italian food afterwards!

Short update

I'm typing this with one finger, It was confirmed that the hand is indeed broken and I am wearing a splint (kind of a half-cast). My GP is arranging for an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon but I am obviously hoping that surgery won't be necessary.

Adam has been here and gone. His visit flew by far too fast and I am missing him since he left on Sunday.

My mom is still here and will stay until after my birthday on the 30th. I think she's getting bored. It's pretty sad that my 72 year old mother has a more exciting life than I do!

1 finger typing

my blog posts over the next few weeks will probably be brief. it hasn't been confirmed but it appears that i have broken some bones in left hand.

i woke up last night with acid reflux and, in a fog i suspect was caused by the codine cough med i'm taking, i somehow managed to fall down my stairs on the way for a glass of milk. this morning my hand was swollen and my baby finger is pointing off to the side at a rather odd angle.

i saw my family doctor and he said to put a tensor bandage on it and keep it elevated. he could send me for xrays but it would be monday before he gets the results and by then i'll be out of town. so he suggested i go to the hospital in st. jovite; shorter waiting time in a small town hospital and, being close to the ski hills, they are used to dealing with this kind of fracture.

i was at the general hospital today to pick up my xeloda pills and thought i'd take a chance and try the emerg. they said it would be a 2-3 hour wait. in my experience they usually lie so i figured i was looking at 4 hours so i left.

i needed this like i need a hole in my head. speaking of... i'm having an mri on my brain next week to have another look at my aneurysm.

METAvivors

When I was at the conference in Philly, I picked up a car magnet from METAvivors, a charible organization for women with metastatic cancer. I finally got around to visiting their website at http://metavivor.org/index.html.


Here's an excerpt from an essay by one of their founding members.

We ask that the public understand that the 110+ Americans dying every day from breast cancer [I don't know the Canadian stats] are not dying because they were not vigilant or were not courageous enough, and they are not dying because their will to live wasn’t strong enough. To the contrary, it takes tremendous courage and the strongest of wills to face this diagnosis squarely, to wear a smile on your face and move forward with your life while wondering what tomorrow’s test will reveal, how your body will react to the next series of treatments and/or clinical trials ... never knowing when your oncologist will tell you he has run out of options or your body will not tolerate any more drugs, and hoping against hope that there will be a medical breakthrough before that time arrives. No … these people are not dying because they were somehow inadequate to the task, they are dying for the simple reason that the lack of research has kept this disease un-survivable.

Upcoming events

Sept 11: Ride the Rideau

Sept 15: Living Well Beyond Breast Cancer

Sept 18: Sacred Circles Workshop

Oct 6: Read for the Cure

Nov 19: BCA Autumn Gala and Auction

Oct 3: Run for the Cure

Sacred Circles workshop - Sept 18

Labrynth Walking, Creating Mandalas and Sacred Circle Dancing

Date: Sept 18
Time: 9:30 - 5:00
Location: St. John's March/Kanata
Cost: $110

For a copy of the flyer email beverly@beverlychen.com.
For registration contact Cynthia Sabiston at 613-692-0302.

No Pink for Profit - Run for the Cure team

I'm passing this on from Laurie K's blog. She's looking for Ottawa women to join her Run for the Cure team.
---------------------------------------------------------
Ottawa women friends and family,

Last week end, my friend Cathy Remus and I were talking about doing the Run for the Cure on October 3rd. I suggested forming a team named something along the lines of "We hate pink crap but we hate breast cancer even more."

Elegant slogans were never my forte.

Cathy reminded me that the brilliant Karin Jordan had already come up with "No Pink for Profit." I think this is perfect and I have registered a team with that name. Want to join me? We need ten women (anyone can participate but I'd really like to form a women's team) and you can run it or walk it, raise money or not.

All it would involve on your part would be registering, raising money if you want (or just paying the registration fee) meeting at the start of the run to get your team t-shirt and then either walking or runnning 5k at your pace. Then, as many of us who want to could meet up at the end and go out for a yummy breakfast.

I have a bit of an agenda here, other than the exercise, friendship and a good cause. How cool would it be to have a really large group of women wearing "No Pink for Profit" on their Run for the Cure t-shirts? And if the name is rejected by run organizers (which I truly hope doesn't happen), we have another opportunity for education.

So, what say you? Please feel free to forward this message to any women you know. I want to cast as wide a net as possible.

Laurie

p.s.: You can sign up here https://secure3.convio.net/cbcf/site/TRR/RunfortheCure/CentralOffice?fr_id=1101&pg=tfind

A short update

I saw my onc yesterday but it was pretty routine. I hadn’t had a scan or test, so there was nothing to report – I’m not even really sure why I had the appointment. I see the radiation oncologist about my aneurysm on Monday.

The big news is… that Adam (aka the prodigal son) arrives today from Holland for 2 weeks! I can’t wait to give him a big hug. My mom will join us towards the end of his visit and she will stay until after my birthday at the end of the month.

What I’m grateful for today: No contest, Adam’s visit!

Living well beyond cancer - starts Sept 15

The Canadian Cancer Society will offer a program this fall for post-treatment cancer patients and their caregivers who strive to live a healthy life.

Living Well Beyond Cancer is based ont he Chronic Disease Self-Management Program researched and developed at Standord University.

This free program is conducted as a 2-hour workshop held weekly for 6 weeks. The highly interactive meetings focus on building skills, sharing experiences and mutual support. Skills are taught to support day-to-day living with and beyond cancer, and to maintain or increase life's activities.

Living Well Beyond Cancer will address: techniques to deal with the psychosocial aspects of cancer, appropriate exercise for maintaining and improving strength, communication and healthy eating. You will learn how to:

• Manage symptoms, treatment side effects and medications
• Work with your health-care team
• Set goals and make plans to achieve goals
• Solve problems and handle difficult emotions

The next session will be held at the Canadian Cancer Society Ottawa office at 1745 Woodward Drive from 7:00 pm to 9:30 pm, starting Wednesday Sept 15, for 6 weeks. Space is limited, so please register by contacting the Ottawa office at 613-723-1744 ext. 3621.

Sisters

Nadine was back this week for part II of her visit. In between her visits she was in Boston on business and in Halifax with her daughter (my niece) Erin.

We spent part of one day at the Nordic Spa, relaxing in the pools and the saunas. We curled up in these lovely hanging chairs that felt like rocking cocoons and read and napped. In the evening we went to see The Kids are Alright (I’m not sure that the kids are truly ‘alright’ but it was an interesting movie).

On her last day here Peggy came by. Nadine made sausage/potato/squash tacos, so we had no problem talking Peggy into staying for lunch. It was a day of great eating because we went to Dianne’s for dinner and a swim (although I was the only one who actually swam).

It was wonderful to just spend time with Nadine. We’re very different people, but there is a life-long bond between us that keeps us connected through the good times and the bad. I’m glad that she’s my sister.

After she left, I spent most of yesterday napping. It seems that when I have company or when I was away in Halifax, it tires me out and I need some recovery time. But it's worth it!

Share your voice

I just took a Faces of Metastatic Breast Cancer survey. It’s interesting, because as you answer each question, it gives you a chart with percentages of all of the answers from all who have taken the survey.

In answer to the question “Which word best describes how you feel during “good” moments?”, respondents said:

35% thankful
27% hopeful
26% optimistic
5% encouraged
7% other

I wasn’t sure if the majority said ‘thankful’ because they were thankful for the ‘good moment’, or if they felt thankful in general. I wonder if being thankful contributes to the ‘good moments’ or even sometimes creates them. I think gratitude for all of my blessings is important and contributes to the quality of my life. Some days I have to dig deep, but there’s always something to be grateful for.

In answer to the question “Which word best describes how you feel during "bad" moments?” respondents said:

27% frightened
23% overwhelmed
14% isolated
15% discouraged
12% other
9% angry

I answered ‘overwhelmed’ but I was surprised that ‘angry’ was so low. I think we all experience anger, but I guess you just can’t stay there for long (or your head with explode!) so maybe that’s why it’s not a emotion that ranked high for this question.

In Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s book ‘On Death and Dying’ she outlines the 5 stages of grief of someone who is facing death as:

1. Denial and isolation: "This is not happening to me."
2. Anger: "How dare God do this to me."
3. Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my son graduate."
4. Depression: "I can't bear to face going through this, putting my family through this."
5. Acceptance: "I'm ready, I don't want to struggle anymore."

I’m not sure where it fits but I’d add “Panic and desperation” to the list. I felt panic for the first time when I found out that the loss of my voice was from cancer and not just larangitis. Dr G said it was because it was the first time I actually had a symptom from the cancer. Before that, any ‘symptoms’ were just side effects from the treatment. As for desperation, I find myself looking for information online on foreign cancer clinics, bone marrow transplants, alternative treatments and anything else that might help me to become one of the miracle stories that we’ve all read about.

Of course, the percentages will changes as others take the survey. You can take it yourself at http://facesofmbc.org/?tr=y&auid=6699537

What I’m grateful for today: All of the leftovers in my fridge from a wonderful potluck dinner last night with friends. I think I hear a cob of fresh corn and some cheesecake calling my name!

Traveling with Metastatic Breast Cancer

In the Insights on Metastatic Breast Cancer newsletter, Claudia Luecke writes:

"As anyone facing a metastatic cancer diagnosis knows, there is nothing like a life-threatening illness to add a sense of urgency to your "I’ve-always-wanted-to-do-that" list. Visiting all seven continents is one of my goals. Since my mets diagnosis in 2007, I’ve made travel a bigger priority."

Travel is also a priority for me. My son Adam lives in Holland and I am hoping to go for a visit this fall. One of the big concerns I have is medical coverage. I went on an Africa safari a month after a wedge resection of my lung to remove a tumor. Both Blue Cross and Great West Life (my work insurance) told me that they couldn’t offer me coverage.

I’m excited to read in Claudia’s article that she has been able to get insurance that covers pre-existing conditions. I went on the travelguard.com website that she referenced and the website says:

"A pre-existing condition exclusion applies to medical conditions and/or symptoms that existed prior to travel. There may be no coverage if you have a pre-existing condition."

I plan to contact them by phone to get more information.